How to Raise an Adult

"How to Raise an Adult" is authored by Julie Lythcott-Haims, a former dean of freshmen at Stanford University. The book stems from her observations during her tenure, where she noticed a troubling trend: students arriving at college highly accomplished yet lacking in independence, burdened by parental micromanagement and high expectations. This realization compelled her to write a guide aimed at breaking the cycle of overparenting and preparing children for real-world success. Lythcott-Haims holds a rich educational background with degrees from Stanford University, Harvard Law School, and the California College of the Arts, further validating her insights into young adult development and parenting​.

Differentiation What sets "How to Raise an Adult" apart in the category of life skills education is its foundational experience drawn from a high-caliber academic setting and its direct challenge to the modern parenting status quo. It addresses the pitfalls of overparenting and offers strategies for fostering resilience and independence in children—qualities essential for adulthood but often overlooked in traditional educational curriculums​.

How to Get Started To integrate "How to Raise an Adult" into a homeschooling curriculum, parents should begin by absorbing the core principles Lythcott-Haims discusses. The book is structured to guide parents gradually, making it accessible for those new to the concept of reducing overparenting. It encourages reflective practices and provides actionable steps to implement its advice.

How It Works This guide is best used as a supplementary resource in a homeschooling setup. Parents are advised to dedicate time to discuss the themes of the book with their children, integrating about an hour weekly to cover chapters and reflect on personal family practices. The activities suggested are mostly discussion-based and reflective, suitable for independent reading by older children or facilitated by parents for younger ones.

Educational Content and Foreign Languages The book covers a variety of life skills crucial for adult independence, such as:

  • Problem-solving

  • Emotional resilience

  • Responsibility

  • Practical life skills like budgeting and time management No specific foreign languages content is included.

What’s Good About It Users appreciate the book's pragmatic approach to parenting, filled with real-world examples and actionable advice. The shift from helicoptering to supporting from a distance resonates with many, helping parents prepare their children not just for school, but for life​.

What Could Be Improved Some readers feel the book could provide more varied examples from different socioeconomic backgrounds. Additionally, the solutions proposed can sometimes seem daunting for parents deeply entrenched in overparenting habits, suggesting a need for more incremental steps in the guidance provided.

Advice from Parents Parents recommend taking the time to reflect on one’s own parenting style and biases while reading this book. Engaging children in discussions about their perspectives on independence and responsibility can also enhance the effectiveness of applying Lythcott-Haims' advice, making the transition towards less intensive parenting smoother and more inclusive.

Who It’s an Ideal Fit For The book is perfect for homeschooling parents looking to nurture self-sufficiency and resilience in their children. It's particularly suitable for those who may be prone to overdirecting their child's education and life choices and are seeking a balanced approach that promotes healthy adult development​.

Who It’s Probably Not a Fit For Parents who are looking for a strict academic curriculum or direct instructions on daily educational activities might find this book less fitting. It’s more about shifting parenting paradigms and less about specific educational content.

Grades The book is most suitable for parents of children in middle school through college.

Cost The book is available in various formats with prices ranging approximately from $15 to $25.

Ways to Get It "How to Raise an Adult" can be purchased through major booksellers like Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and local bookstores. It is also available in digital format for e-readers and tablets.

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Manisha Snoyer (co-founder of Modulo)

For the last 20 years, I’ve taught over 2000 children in 3 countries (of all socio-economic backgrounds). I pioneered an English language program in a conflict region in the Middle East. I’ve worked as a bilingual public school teacher at some of the highest and lowest performing public schools and in all five boroughs of NYC. I’ve tutored 18 subjects in three languages to some of the wealthiest families in NYC, San Francisco and Paris to make up for shortcomings in private schools they were paying up to $60,000 a year to attend.

Since 2015, I’ve helped hundreds of parents start microschools (way before this was a household buzzword). I founded CottageClass, the first marketplace for microschools and learning pods that was part of the Techstars 2018 class. In 2019, I created a virtual learning program to help families through the pandemic, a free online math tutoring program (masteryhour.org), and schoolclosures.org, a hotline developed in collaboration with Twilio and 80 other partners including Khan Academy, Revolution Foods and the Crisis Text Line, that served 100,000 families impacted by school closures.

I’ve climbed trees with children in forest schools in San Francisco, and tested new digital apps with kids in seven countries.

I’ve also coached dozens of families at different stages in their homeschooling journey. Most recently, I founded Modulo with homeschooling dad, best-selling author and tech entrepreneur Eric Ries, to help families curate their children’s education, social and childcare experiences drawing from a diverse array of in-person and online resources.


During the last three years, I’ve devoted much of my time to reviewing and testing secular homeschooling curriculum and other resource. I’ve spent the last three years talking to thousands of secular homeschooling families, and poring over tens of thousands of secular curriculum reviews and testing physical curriculum and digital apps for with hundreds of students to find the highest quality, most engaging, personalized learning materials for every type of learner.

I’ve spoken about homeschooling and modular learning at multiple venues including SXSW EDU, NY Tech Meetup, and on the LiberatedEd podcast.

In 2022, Modulo was one of 8 organizations who were awarded the Bridge Grant from the Vela Education Fund to expand access to homeschooling and modular learning to under-resourced communities.

My experience in education and homeschooling has led me to believe that there is no perfect education for every child, but families have an extraordinary amount of wisdom they can apply to building the perfect education for their individual child.

My goal with Modulo is to make it possible for any family to easily build a customized education that their child will love, and that will empower the whole family to thrive, taking into account, social, emotional and academic needs.

I love to answer questions from parents and receive feedback on how we can improve Modulo, so feel free to reach out anytime! I personally answer all the questions and comments readers leave on my blogs.

In my free time, I like hiking, traveling the world, tasting ceremonial grade matcha, enjoying dark chocolate.

I graduated Summa Cum Laude from Brandeis University with highest honors, with a double degree in French Literature and American Studies and minors in Environmental Studies and Peace & Conflict Studies.

And I love to learn!

https://www.linkedin.com/in/manisha-snoyer-5042298/
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