An Adult Child’s Guide to What’s ‘Normal’

An Adult Child's Guide to What's 'Normal'" was penned by John and Linda Friel, a couple deeply engaged in the world of clinical psychology. Addressing the gaps in learning and behavior that individuals from dysfunctional backgrounds often experience, this book acts as a roadmap to understanding what constitutes "normal" social interactions and healthy lifestyles. John Friel, with a notable background as a psychologist, and Linda, his co-author and wife, have collectively impacted many lives with their writings and seminars, boasting over half a million book sales. Their work, deeply rooted in personal and professional insights into emotional healing, continues to serve as a crucial guide for those looking to navigate life's complexities stemming from less-than-ideal upbringings​ (Simon & Schuster Books)​​ (Barnes & Noble)​.

Differentiation: What sets this book apart is its comprehensive approach to teaching life skills, particularly those not acquired in one's youth due to dysfunctional family dynamics. It uniquely combines the professional insights of its authors with actionable advice, creating a bridge between psychotherapy concepts and everyday challenges. This aspect makes it not just a read, but a practical toolkit for personal development and social navigation​ (Simon & Schuster Books)​.

How to Get Started: To begin implementing the lessons from "An Adult Child's Guide to What's 'Normal'," it's advisable to read through the book with a focus on chapters that most resonate with your personal experiences. This can be followed by daily reflective practices or journaling to integrate these insights into one's behavior and thought patterns.

How It Works: The book is designed for individual reading and is typically used as a self-help resource. Readers might spend varying amounts of time per day, from a few minutes for reflection to longer periods for in-depth understanding, depending on personal schedules and learning pace. The activities suggested often involve introspection, setting personal boundaries, and practical social skills exercises​ (Simon & Schuster Books)​​ (Barnes & Noble)​.

Educational Content and Subjects Covered:

  • Understanding and setting healthy boundaries

  • Identifying and changing dysfunctional habits

  • Learning effective communication skills

  • Strategies for emotional regulation and self-care

What’s Good About It: Users appreciate the direct yet compassionate approach the Friels take in addressing sensitive issues. Many find the book incredibly insightful for understanding and rectifying the unseen impacts of their upbringing on their social interactions and personal development​ (Simon & Schuster Books)​​ (Barnes & Noble)​.

What Could Be Improved: While the book is well-regarded, some readers find certain sections to be somewhat repetitive or wish for more in-depth case studies to see how the concepts apply in varied scenarios. More examples of "normal" responses in everyday situations could enhance the practicality of the guide​ (Simon & Schuster Books)​.

Advice from Parents: Parents who have used this book suggest approaching it with an open mind and patience. It's often recommended to revisit chapters as different life situations arise, using the book as a long-term reference point rather than a one-time read.

Who It’s an Ideal Fit For: This book is perfect for individuals who grew up in dysfunctional families and are seeking to understand and correct maladaptive behaviors. It is also valuable for new parents who want to ensure they are not passing on unhealthy patterns to their children​ (Simon & Schuster Books)​​ (Barnes & Noble)​.

Who It’s Probably Not a Fit For: Individuals looking for a quick fix to deep-seated issues might find the pace and depth of the book challenging. It is less suited for those unwilling to engage in introspective and sometimes emotionally difficult work.

Grades: The book is best suited for adults.

Cost: The price of the book ranges from $12.99 for an eBook to $15.95 for a paperback edition​ (Simon & Schuster Books)​​ (Barnes & Noble)​.

Ways to Get It: The book can be purchased online through major retailers like Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Books-A-Million. It is available in both eBook and paperback formats​ (Simon & Schuster Books)​​ (Barnes & Noble)​.

Affiliate Disclaimer: Some links on our site are affiliate links, which means Modulo may earn a small commission if you purchase through them (at no cost to you). Rest assured, we only recommend resources we’ve rigorously vetted and truly love—affiliate link or not. Thank you so much for supporting our work!

Explore More Life Skills Resources We Recommend for Homeschooling Families

Manisha Snoyer (co-founder of Modulo)

For the last 20 years, I’ve taught over 2000 children in 3 countries (of all socio-economic backgrounds). I pioneered an English language program in a conflict region in the Middle East. I’ve worked as a bilingual public school teacher at some of the highest and lowest performing public schools and in all five boroughs of NYC. I’ve tutored 18 subjects in three languages to some of the wealthiest families in NYC, San Francisco and Paris to make up for shortcomings in private schools they were paying up to $60,000 a year to attend.

Since 2015, I’ve helped hundreds of parents start microschools (way before this was a household buzzword). I founded CottageClass, the first marketplace for microschools and learning pods that was part of the Techstars 2018 class. In 2019, I created a virtual learning program to help families through the pandemic, a free online math tutoring program (masteryhour.org), and schoolclosures.org, a hotline developed in collaboration with Twilio and 80 other partners including Khan Academy, Revolution Foods and the Crisis Text Line, that served 100,000 families impacted by school closures.

I’ve climbed trees with children in forest schools in San Francisco, and tested new digital apps with kids in seven countries.

I’ve also coached dozens of families at different stages in their homeschooling journey. Most recently, I founded Modulo with homeschooling dad, best-selling author and tech entrepreneur Eric Ries, to help families curate their children’s education, social and childcare experiences drawing from a diverse array of in-person and online resources.


During the last three years, I’ve devoted much of my time to reviewing and testing secular homeschooling curriculum and other resource. I’ve spent the last three years talking to thousands of secular homeschooling families, and poring over tens of thousands of secular curriculum reviews and testing physical curriculum and digital apps for with hundreds of students to find the highest quality, most engaging, personalized learning materials for every type of learner.

I’ve spoken about homeschooling and modular learning at multiple venues including SXSW EDU, NY Tech Meetup, and on the LiberatedEd podcast.

In 2022, Modulo was one of 8 organizations who were awarded the Bridge Grant from the Vela Education Fund to expand access to homeschooling and modular learning to under-resourced communities.

My experience in education and homeschooling has led me to believe that there is no perfect education for every child, but families have an extraordinary amount of wisdom they can apply to building the perfect education for their individual child.

My goal with Modulo is to make it possible for any family to easily build a customized education that their child will love, and that will empower the whole family to thrive, taking into account, social, emotional and academic needs.

I love to answer questions from parents and receive feedback on how we can improve Modulo, so feel free to reach out anytime! I personally answer all the questions and comments readers leave on my blogs.

In my free time, I like hiking, traveling the world, tasting ceremonial grade matcha, enjoying dark chocolate.

I graduated Summa Cum Laude from Brandeis University with highest honors, with a double degree in French Literature and American Studies and minors in Environmental Studies and Peace & Conflict Studies.

And I love to learn!

https://www.linkedin.com/in/manisha-snoyer-5042298/
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