Resolution and Understanding: Utilizing Non-Violent Communication in Homeschooling Conflicts

Written By Manisha Snoyer (co-founder of Modulo)

Resolution and Understanding: Utilizing Non-Violent Communication in Homeschooling Conflicts

In a homeschooling environment, disagreements between parents and children can be a common occurrence. This is where non-violent communication (NVC) steps in, offering a valuable tool for resolution and understanding. It proposes a world where parents and children can truly understand and connect with each other, creating an atmosphere of empathy and compassion, even amid conflicts. This article explores the principles and benefits of NVC, focusing specifically on how it can be used to resolve conflicts between parents and children during homeschooling.

Fundamentals of NVC

Developed by psychologist Marshall B. Rosenberg in the 1960s, NVC encompasses four crucial principles - observation, feelings, needs, and requests - that are beneficial when managing homeschooling conflicts.

The principle of observation involves describing a situation neutrally, devoid of judgment or interpretation. For instance, instead of blaming a child for not focusing on studies, the situation can be objectively described. The principle of feelings encourages the identification and expression of emotions without accusing others. This helps create a safe emotional environment for the child. The needs principle underlines the importance of recognizing fundamental human needs, like the need for playtime or relaxation amid studying. Lastly, the principle of requests encourages clear, actionable requests instead of demands. For example, asking the child if they can finish a chapter after a break, rather than insisting they do it immediately.

The Significance of Empathy

Central to NVC, empathy enables parents to understand the feelings and needs of their child, thereby fostering a deeper connection. It helps parents to validate their child's experiences, making them feel heard and understood, which can considerably diffuse conflict.

Enhancing Parent-Child Relationships through NVC

When parents use NVC in homeschooling, it not only resolves conflicts but also strengthens the parent-child relationship. It facilitates open, honest communication, helping parents understand their child's perspective, and vice versa, which is crucial in a homeschooling environment.

Conflict Resolution in Homeschooling with NVC

Disagreements are natural in a homeschooling environment, but with NVC, these can be managed effectively and peacefully. Instead of blaming or finding fault, NVC encourages expressing observations, feelings, needs, and actively listening to the child's perspective. This helps in creating a collaborative atmosphere that fosters understanding and harmony.

Practical NVC Techniques for Homeschooling Conflicts

NVC provides a range of techniques for effective communication. Reflective listening, summarizing what the child has said to ensure understanding, can be helpful. Making "I" statements can help express personal feelings and needs, without blaming the child. Active listening, focusing entirely on what the child is saying, promotes understanding and encourages open communication.

Implications of NVC in Homeschooling Dynamics

The use of NVC in homeschooling conflicts can bring about a transformative change in the family dynamics. By practicing NVC, parents can better understand their child's emotions and needs, creating a more respectful and nurturing environment.

Resources for Learning NVC

For those interested in learning more about NVC, books like Marshall B. Rosenberg's "Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life" and "Nonviolent Communication Companion Workbook" are helpful resources. Workshops and online communities also offer platforms for learning and practicing NVC.

Conclusion: Navigating Homeschooling Conflicts with NVC

Non-violent communication provides a valuable framework for navigating conflicts in a homeschooling environment. By practicing NVC, parents and children can understand each other better, resolve conflicts peacefully, and foster a more harmonious homeschooling journey. It encourages a culture of empathy, understanding, and connection, transforming both the homeschooling experience and family dynamics. Embracing the principles of observation, feelings, needs, and requests can lead to a healthier communication environment, promoting harmony in homeschooling and beyond.

Manisha Snoyer (co-founder of Modulo)

For the last 20 years, I’ve taught over 2000 children in 3 countries (of all socio-economic backgrounds). I pioneered an English language program in a conflict region in the Middle East. I’ve worked as a bilingual public school teacher at some of the highest and lowest performing public schools and in all five boroughs of NYC. I’ve tutored 18 subjects in three languages to some of the wealthiest families in NYC, San Francisco and Paris to make up for shortcomings in private schools they were paying up to $60,000 a year to attend.

Since 2015, I’ve helped hundreds of parents start microschools (way before this was a household buzzword). I founded CottageClass, the first marketplace for microschools and learning pods that was part of the Techstars 2018 class. In 2019, I created a virtual learning program to help families through the pandemic, a free online math tutoring program (masteryhour.org), and schoolclosures.org, a hotline developed in collaboration with Twilio and 80 other partners including Khan Academy, Revolution Foods and the Crisis Text Line, that served 100,000 families impacted by school closures.

I’ve climbed trees with children in forest schools in San Francisco, and tested new digital apps with kids in seven countries.

I’ve also coached dozens of families at different stages in their homeschooling journey. Most recently, I founded Modulo with homeschooling dad, best-selling author and tech entrepreneur Eric Ries, to help families curate their children’s education, social and childcare experiences drawing from a diverse array of in-person and online resources.


During the last three years, I’ve devoted much of my time to reviewing and testing secular homeschooling curriculum and other resource. I’ve spent the last three years talking to thousands of secular homeschooling families, and poring over tens of thousands of secular curriculum reviews and testing physical curriculum and digital apps for with hundreds of students to find the highest quality, most engaging, personalized learning materials for every type of learner.

I’ve spoken about homeschooling and modular learning at multiple venues including SXSW EDU, NY Tech Meetup, and on the LiberatedEd podcast.

In 2022, Modulo was one of 8 organizations who were awarded the Bridge Grant from the Vela Education Fund to expand access to homeschooling and modular learning to under-resourced communities.

My experience in education and homeschooling has led me to believe that there is no perfect education for every child, but families have an extraordinary amount of wisdom they can apply to building the perfect education for their individual child.

My goal with Modulo is to make it possible for any family to easily build a customized education that their child will love, and that will empower the whole family to thrive, taking into account, social, emotional and academic needs.

I love to answer questions from parents and receive feedback on how we can improve Modulo, so feel free to reach out anytime! I personally answer all the questions and comments readers leave on my blogs.

In my free time, I like hiking, traveling the world, tasting ceremonial grade matcha, enjoying dark chocolate.

I graduated Summa Cum Laude from Brandeis University with highest honors, with a double degree in French Literature and American Studies and minors in Environmental Studies and Peace & Conflict Studies.

And I love to learn!

https://www.linkedin.com/in/manisha-snoyer-5042298/
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