10 ways to help your “only child” make friends at any age
My single mom recently confided in me that her biggest regret as a parent was not giving me a sibling. My mother is very close to her siblings and treasures her relationships with her. But I found the comment a little strange and a bit amusing, since anyone who knows me knows that I’m a total social butterfly. I reassured her that I had closer friends than many of my friends with multiple siblings. In fact, being an only child made me motivated to form deeper, more loyal friendships with my friends who are more like sisters and brothers than Sunday brunch dates.
Now that I work in education I see many parents with only children struggle to find friends for their child. Surprisingly, I see this even more in children enrolled in school, then those homeschooling. Certainly, this situation has been exacerbated by the pandemic. I do think that part of this is the increasing social isolation of our modern age, but it also can be a particular challenge when there’s not a “built-in” friend in your house.
Not only does your child need friends, but you do too! It’s indispensable for families to have a community of peers supporting them as they go through the ups and downs of raising a child in the modern world. It takes a village, as they say. It really does.
Therefore, I’m happy to share ten sure-fire techniques to make friends and take the “lonely” out of “only” once and for all.
If your child is younger, join or start a babysitting co-op. These are relatively easy to find in your local facebook or meetup group. You can also ask parents in your local school or homeschool group if they’d like to do a swap once a week.
Introduce yourself in an online parenting group and ask if there are any parents with kids with similar ages who want to meet up for age appropriate activities. I’ve seen many posts where families post a picture of their family and share a little bit about themselves and they get tons of parents asking to meetup up.
Encourage your child to invite a friend on a family vacation.
Encourage your child to audition for community theater play.
Join or start a team sport (soccer, hockey, dance)
Join or start a club. Project-based or team clubs are generally the best for forming close friendships (Theater, robotics, debate are all great candidates). Generally your local 4H club/www.modulo.app/all-resources/4h will have a how-to on how to get these going.
Host study groups at your house if there’s a big exam or project coing up.
Encourage your child to invite other kids to your house on a regular basis. If your child is under ten, you should be the one proactively inviting kids over all the time. (Sometimes parents wait for kids to take the initiative, but it’s really important you do the nudging. Obviously ask them first, but then you should)
Host friends with kids at your house for dinner.
Spend quality (smart-phone free) time with your child at every opportunity. Have conversations together, share what happened during your day at dinner, go hiking, play sports, work on projects together. You may not realize this but the closer your relationship with your child, the easier it will be for them to develop healthy relationships with others.
Have you discovered any other great ways to help your only child form friendships? Leave your best tips in the comments section so other families can benefit!
